Important Premarital Counseling Questions

There are certain life areas in which couples often experience conflicts and disagreements. Taking the time to discuss these areas in depth and coming to an agreement is highly recommended. Each one of you should think about the below premarital counseling questions and write down an answer before discussing them with your beloved. Pay attention to areas where you are not in agreement with eachother and answers that concerns or surprises you.

premarital counseling questions

Financial premarital counseling questions

Do you have a savings account, retirement plan, stock market investments or other investments?
Do you have debt and a payback plan?
Do you have a financial plan?
Do you have a last will and testament?
Do you expect the finances to be shared or separate?
Who should organize the finances?
How will the assets be shared in case of divorce?

Religious/Spiritual premarital counseling questions

Are you religious and will you exercise your spiritual beleifs?
How important is it to you that your partner share your religious view?
Which religious holidays will you celebrate?
What are your views on abortion, birth control, sex before marriage and divorce?
Will your spiritual/religious beleifs be shared with your chrildren?

Premarital counseling questions on Communication

Do you find it easy to communicate you feelings?
Have you experienced situations where you found it difficult to communicate with your partner?
How do you solve conflicts in your relationship?
What kind of behaviour is unacceptable from your partner?

Marriage expectations

Why do you want to marry your partner and what is an ideal marriage like to you?
Are there areas where you want your partner to change?
What is an example of a great date to you?
How are you planning to keep the romance alive in your relationship?
How do you expect your partner to contribute to your marriage?
How will you share the household duties?

Home

Where do you want to live?
Do you prefer to live in a big city, a smaller city or on the countryside etc?
Are you comfortable with sharing the flat or having sleepover guests?

Work
How important is your career to you?
Are you happy with your current job?
Is your job financially secure?

Friends and family

Do you have a close relationship with your parents?
Do you have any close friends?
Do you think friends and family should have any influence on your marriage?

Parenting and new family

Do you want children and how many?
When would you be ready for children?
What do you think is an appropriate age gap between your children?
How would you like to discipline your children?
How often would you like to go on vacation with your family and is it OK to go on vacation without them?
How important is your child’s education or performanc in other areas?

Hobbies

What are your favorite hobbies?
How much of your leisure time would you like to spend with your family and how much would you like to spend on your hobbies?
Are you more social than your future spouse?

Sexual expectations

How often do you want to have sex with your spouse?
Can you talk openly about sex with your partner and communicate your desires?
Do you feel that your partner gives you the intimacy you need?

Getting married is one of the biggest and most life-changing decisions you will make in your life. By preparing yourself through answering premarital counseling questions in relationship therapy (such as imago relationship therapy) or on your own, you have a higher chance of not getting divorced. Spending some time answering these questions is an important step towards preparing for a strong and lasting marriage.

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If you are a Christian, you may also benefit from reading our article on Christian premarital counseling.